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Even though he’s been helpful and patient, letting him in on how I handle my money feels deeply scary.Before meeting him in my late 30s, I spent my adult life keeping my financial issues to myself; the instinct to continue doing so hasn’t gone away.The first rule my boyfriend and I made when we started dating seven years ago was that we would be totally honest with each other — about everything.He’s seen me through panic attacks, missed airline flights and hiring a trash removal service to deal with my hoarding.I had to tell him that my poor credit and my debt meant my name couldn’t be on our lease.He was comfortable taking on that responsibility, but some people might be right to be wary.• Put it all out there: “The worst part is that first step.There’s even a website for these number-conscious singles: Credit Score Not once has he made me feel stupid or guilty for my money mistakes.

It’s an opportunity to see how your would-be life partner reacts to the news that you’re not the totally together person you may have presented yourself as in the getting-to-know-you stage.• Find a system that seems fair: To ensure that the person without debt doesn’t resent their partner, figure out a system that lets you both contribute.But you do need to share a common frame of reference and baseline of information.Communicating your money values includes setting limits.He used his quarterly bonuses to fuel his wife’s debt repayment, telling her, for instance, that if she saved ,000, he’d kick in ,000 of his own.• Paying off debt together saves you money: Rather than one person playing the stock market while the other pays interest, Bayonnet advises pooling resources as a way to generate more wealth in the long term.After you’re both debt-free, you can focus on investing.• Check in regularly.

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