Scripture relationships dating
See what an unsatisfying bumper-sticker treatment that was? Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership. This is not a signal of male superiority or of the greater importance of men.
If you’re not ready to marry, you’re not ready to date.
Every male who is out of college should have at least thought this through. Initiation is not manipulating the situation so that while you’re officially “asking her out” there’s no actual risk of rejection or embarrassment. It means that you as the man take the first step, risk and all. ‘Doesn’t that mean that she can just tell me no and leave me twisting in the wind? But whatever the circumstances, her role is as responder, not initiator.
Once he determines he is ready to be married generally, and once he has found a particular woman he is interested in pursuing, our single man’s next step is to “put some feelers out.” He should talk to some of her friends, see if she’s been asking about him, have one or two subtly suggestive conversations with her to see if she gives anything away…. In his Boundless article, “Real Men Risk Rejection,” Michael Lawrence eloquently summarizes both the objections some men might raise to this idea, and, in my view, the ideal response: ‘Wait a minute. As single men need to learn how to lead (whether they like it or not), single women need to learn what it is to let a man assume spiritual leadership in the relationship — and to respond to that leadership.
Hollywood’s perfect woman runs with the boys, knows what she wants and is aggressive en route to getting it — especially romantically. “What if I’m really interested in a man and he just isn’t getting it and I need to move him along? When men drop the ball on leadership (as we often do), it presents a temptation for the woman involved to pick up the reins and lead for him. Picking up the reins sets a terrible pattern that only confuses the roles in the relationship and encourages both of you to take the role of the other to the detriment of the relationship and ultimately the marriage. If it doesn’t work out with a particular guy because he didn’t step up, the Lord will cause something else to work out.
Hilariously, Hollywood even writes these characters into period pieces, as if the normal woman at all levels of society in the 18th and 19th centuries was a post-feminist, post-sexual-revolution, “there-ain’t-no-difference-between-me-and-you” libertine. Needless to say, that is not the biblical picture of the responder. Does this mean that a woman should never ask a man out on a first date? Does this mean that a woman shouldn’t give the guy the assurance he needs by “leaking” news of her interest to him by way of his friends? He knows what is best for each of us, and all of us must learn to trust Him — especially about things that are really important to us.