Muslim women and dating
I’m now realising that there is no set path for that — for how to find that person.”The beautiful thing about this is that everyone feels so isolated in their journeys to find love.That’s what compelled me to start writing — I felt so alone.But my friends have gotten married off the apps.”] Yes. But you have to include the disclaimer that Islam forbids premarital sex. “I think what Islam does say is that if somebody has a sexual history, it’s not anybody’s business to talk about it. Anything that they’ve done is between them and God. But it seems like in the relationships that you’re describing to me, that’s not the case is at all.“Oh no. A lot of my girlfriends that are married, you know, they’re super well-educated.You don’t have to repent to your future spouse all the things you’ve done beforehand, because it’s not about that.”I feel like when you reached out to me, you had a story that you wanted to tell me. “One thing that is important is that you never really hear about Muslims and romance. A lot of the Muslim relationships that I know, even my own parents who are conservatives, are two-income households.So, you think, “I tend to find myself in these situations when I know that my ultimate goal is to marry a Muslim.Because there’s nothing higher than a spiritual relationship and a true spiritual connection. And it’s important for me to know that, in the good times, we’re pulling from the same spiritual toolbox.
I think probably the biggest point for any Muslim was post-9/11.
So now it’s like, where the fuck do you find a handsome, attractive, intelligent, emotionally sensitive, family-oriented Muslim? As a woman, it’s already hard to find someone who is not a scum bag. When you’re dating, how does the topic of religion come up? He might just say ‘As-Salaam-Alaikum’ [“Now, if the guy isn’t Muslim, it’s just kind of easier to tell.
It can’t be true, but it feels like there are way less men then there are women.”I mean, I live in New York City, and I feel like that all the time. Because the initial conversation is about anything else in the world aside from the religion.
As much as I love sharing my dating stories, there are a lot of experiences that I haven't had. I was 11 years old at the time, and very naive in my understanding about the faith.
That's why, as part of It’s Not You, I'll be talking to people with a broad range of experiences to see how things are different — and how they're the same. I didn’t understand the politics of what 9/11 meant, and it was just a very tough time for Muslims in general.