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No one cares about the facts, though, because the facts aren’t edgy or exciting.
As a result, during many of my ill-fated romantic endeavors, I’m forced to live a lie I never told as I play out a role I never sought to take on.
Ultimately, disappointment and disillusionment ensue when you realize that the greatest qualities of your potential partner are false products of premature judgment.
Maybe this is why so many Millennials choose to forgo marriage and so many Baby Boomers are getting divorced: “He wasn’t who I thought he was,” they say.
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Middle-aged people who don’t have tattoos have a tendency to tell me why I shouldn’t get them:“When you’re old, your tattoos will look terrible and you will regret them,” they say.Every persona unwillingly bestowed upon me is ludicrous: I’m not from the other side of the tracks; I’m from cookie-cutter, suburban New England (home of the Puritans) and I’m not cool, hip, indie or alternative.My wardrobe consists of five faded band shirts I’ve worn since college and I spend my evenings drinking cheap lager while watching Netflix like the rest of the regular population.“Well, when I’m 70 years old and (hopefully) married with grandkids, I won’t be trying to impress anyone anyway,” I respond. I doubt I would ever seek employment at a company that embraces such an antiquated definition of professionalism, but if I were presented with a fantastic career opportunity that prohibits tattoos, I would easily solve the predicament with long-sleeved shirts.Also, as evidenced by the one real office job I’ve ever had, tattoos are becoming acceptable, even in workspaces that once had strict dress codes.